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Protected: You’re in love? Screw you, you’re fucked.

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Protected: My world just seemed to crash.

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So, this is what it feels like?

This is what it feels like, huh? Falling in love and everything. I’ve always wondered and think to myself  “am i really in love with this guy?“— from my past relationships. I thought falling in love was being happy, getting the kilig feeling, can’t seem to go on a day without talking to that person and everything. But I guess, I was wrong. Love is something you can’t really explain. It’s a feeling that you feel, and cannot explain the feeling that you’re feeling. Some may say they feel happy, overjoyed, in love, and more. Yes of course you feel these but truth is, you can’t really explain the feeling of being in love. It drives you crazy, trying to figure out how you feel.   I have been with Cj for the past two months now. But I can tell, that I really am crazy about him. I really am in love with him. How’d I know? I think I loved him since that day. Well, there’s a lot of reasons why I love this guy, I can’t really tell the main reason why I’m in love with him. But here are the things I love about him…

  1. He makes me mad.
  2. He gives me the kilig feeling, every single day.
  3. Every time his name appears on my phone I always whisper “Ah! My baby! Yay!”
  4. He makes me cry.
  5. He makes me so elated.
  6. I get lost in his eyes.
  7. I want him only to myself.
  8. I can’t imagine myself without him, i’ll lose myself if i lose him.
  9. When we fight, I can’t fucking resist him so I end up forgiving him so easily.
  10. I always swallow my pride for him.
  11. I get to face my fears with him, especially when I know he’s there.
  12. Silence is comfortable.
  13. I can be weird around him.
  14. The most comfortable guy i can be with.
  15. He spits on me…
  16. He hits me with a pillow, but I love him.
  17. He’s weird.
  18. He gets jealous, i find that cute.
  19. He’s so cute when he’s mad.
  20. He gives me butterflies every time…weird but yeah.
  21. His smile lights up my world.
  22. Staring at him and, always, thinking “God, he’s perfect”
  23. He’s really attractive.
  24. Staring at him and i always catch myself smiling.
  25. He’s perfect.
  26. He holds my hand in public, well great job.
  27. He hugs me in public.
  28. AH! NOT TO MENTION, HE GIVES THE BEST HUGS.
  29. A good kisser, cause damn his lips are perfect.
  30. He drives, and that turns me on.
  31. HE DRIVES ME CRAZYYYYYYYYYY.
  32. He’s gay…
  33. He’s annoying, but dammit still irresistible.
  34. He’s cute.
  35. I love his eyes.
  36. I love his smile.
  37. I fucking love his hugs from behind.
  38. I feel very secured when I’m with him.
  39. He brought back the old me, which I really am thankful for.
  40. I still fall for him, every day.
  41. He scares me, scared that he might find someone better.
  42. I’m afraid of losing him.
  43. I want him to be mine, forever. Sounds possessive, but yeah.
  44. I love all his corny jokes.
  45. Sabihin na nating, ma effort.
  46. Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet, nakakamatay sa kilig.
  47. He believes in God, and I love that about him.
  48. Family-oriented.
  49. Has a weird laugh.
  50. Everything is seriously better with him.
  51. Never fails to make me smile.
  52. Makes me smile all the time, even when I’m not in the mood to smile.
  53. Understands my mood swings….
  54. It takes him 90000 hours to reply, and that makes me crazy!
  55. He sleeps on me.
  56. He is a gentleman.
  57. He takes care of me.
  58. He makes sure I’m fine.
  59. He asks me “How’s your day?
  60. He calls me a billion times when I don’t get to answer his first call.
  61. He calls me when I hung up on him.
  62. Sweet gestures, I’m a sucker for that.
  63. He’s mine, so everybody!!!!!!!!!! BACK THE FUCK OFF.
  64. I love him.
  65. I need him.
  66. I want him.
  67. I want to be with him, for the rest of my life.
  68. He’s everything to me.
  69. He’s my everything.
  70. He completes my day.
  71. He ruins it.
  72. He fixes it.
  73. He fixed me.
  74. I love him so fucking much.
  75. I am in love with him.
  76. I’m truly, madly, deeply inlove with him.
  77. Well, he’s a crazy dude but he doesn’t smoke. Hihihi
  78. I dont know if he’s a good or a bad influence to me…. HAHAHAHA
  79. Fuck this guy.
  80. He listens to me, all my nonsense dramas and stories.
  81. I’m in love with him.
  82. He makes me want stop and slow down the time.
  83. I can vent on him.
  84. He doesn’t judge my crazy trips.
  85. He ran and walked with me whilst it was raining.
  86. I rode a freaking ferris wheel, thanks to Cj.
  87. Very supportive.
  88. Very straight forward.
  89. Clingy.
  90. He likes yogurt.
  91. He loves bullying me.
  92. He bites me.
  93. I can rant to him.
  94. He bites his lip, I die.
  95. Every time I stare into his eyes, I feel something unexplainable happening inside of me….
  96. I love it when he tuck me in.
  97. I love his warm hugs and kisses.
  98. He’s very awkward, but very nice person.
  99. He has a kind heart, makes me more in love.
  100. I love to sleep with him, cuddle and I’m in love with him.

So there, the few reasons why he’s the best. He may not be perfect, but to me he is. We may fight and argue about stuff, but that keeps me going. Every time he gets jealous, I find it cute. And every time he gets jealous, mad, sad, pissed, it secures me. Because i know he cares. I know he loves me by showing those kind of emotions. I know my reasons are cliché but it’s the truth. He makes me overjoyed, sad, and everything. He makes me very bipolar. But i swear, i can’t freaking go on a day without talking to him.

May 2, 2014

Happy fourth my babyloves

So, since I didn’t post my blog for our third monthsary…. I’ll post this shit. 

Incase you are reading this, hi baby…. HAHAHA I am begging you to stop reading this. Because matatawa ka and maiiyak ka. This is gonna be so fucking madrama and all. So first of all, I’m sorry for the past month. Fuck that shit. If I could just turn back time, I would. No really. I hope you are aware that I haven’t “fully” forgave myself because of that incident. I am so thankful that you gave me a second chance. I know I may not be worth it anymore, but thank you so much. I’m doing my best to prove to you that I still am worth it. Thank you for understanding me, and I’m sorry if the reason why I did that is…. “Di ko alam” Pero siguro kung ginusto ko yun, which di ko talaga ginusto, sasabihin ko naman sayo na ginsuto ko e. Pero di talaga e. Kahit magisip ako ng reason kung bakit…. mabibigay ko lang sayo is “I don’t know, I never wanted that shit to happen but it did and I really am sorry.” I don’t know how or if you still do believe every word I tell you. Well honestly, I am ashamed of myself. You calling me worth it and perfect? It makes me want to hide under a rock because you know naman that, that isn’t true. I would really like to say I’m sorry… for fucking things up. I always fuck up, I’m sorry. Never ever think that it’s your fault, okay? You just really loved a fucked up person. Just please don’t get tired of me.

 

The past four months… Hay the best talaga, scratch the shit out, I swear. When we were still  “bff&e’s” somewhere between the jokes, laughter, conversations, and etc… somewhere between that, i fell for you. Well I know naman that you know na since, idk when tho but alam ko third year, in love na ako sayo. To be honest, I never saw this coming. Me and you, together. I’ve accepted the fact na kasi before na forever na kayo ni Clarice. Like kahit anong mangyari, sobrang strong niyo. And dun ko natanggap na, okay hanggang crush lang ako… HAHAHAHA seryoso, never ko talagang inexpect pero dinaydream oo?… Yuck patay na patay sayo. Luh sige, magkwekwento nalang ako. Joke. Ayun, thank you so much for everything. Falling for you was the best thing ever. People are asking me, why you? Isn’t it supposed to be…  “Cj, why Mimyka?” You know what, I’m the luckiest girl alive. Because I have you, and I know you’re mine. (Well, I hope so! Bitches better back off) Every time I’m with you, I just feel so elated. I can be weird around you, and that’s really great. Get it? No awkwardness and stuff like that. Now that I have you, for the second time around, I won’t do anything that would hurt you again and lose you again. Thank you so much for accepting me, and my QWERTYUIKVCXASDFGHJK past. Maybe if I had you that time, my past rn aint gonna exist but you know what they say…. Everything happens for a reason. And it’s great cause God or whoever you want made a way for us. I mean, yeah. So I will really keep you, I don’t wanna lose you. You know that. You’re an amazeballs person, and your balls are amazing too. And I’m kidding, you’re amazing my love. I may have fucked things up, but I promise you I’m gonna change for you. I mean, I am changing na naman. I just hope you don’t get tired and bored of me. That would be the worst day of my life baby, you know that. I really cannot afford to lose you, Cj. I love you so much. I love your sense of humour, its very attracting! I love your weirdness, I love your dance moves, I love your lips, your eyes, your cheeks, your pits, your dick. Oops, hahahaha. Fuck it. I love everything about you. Kahit moody ka minsan, kahit kupal ka, kahit sobrang tigas ng ulo mo, kahit ilang beses na akong nagbibigay ng clue na nagseselos ako wala dedma ka paren hay. Pero okay lang yun, I’m trying my best not to be the oh-so-jealous-gf-type. Hihihi. Anyways, I love you as a whole. You’re fucking handsome, I love you my chinito jerowin. Hahaha. Dude, you’re perfect for me. And I don’t want anyone else to know how amazing you are cause I’m afraid they’d fall for you too. Yeah, you’re amazing. So easy to love and mabilis kasi talagang mafall sayo bwiset ka. Ayun lang, yoko na cheesy na and drama na puta. I love you so much, and I want to thank the person up there for giving you to me. I will take care of you, and I will value you with all my heart. Huwew. #cheesy HAHAHA de, sobrang thankful ako sakanya. The best ka talaga Cj. Kasing da best mo si God, pero mas da best siya. Gets? Sobrang da best siya kasi ginawa ka niya. Hay, please don’t get bored, tired of me. I love you so much words can’t even express how in love I am with you. I love you and I am in love with you. Happy fourth, Jerowin! I love you so much Dy! Hihihihi